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Things I wish I’d known at 18

Friends often say to me ‘Jo, what do you regret most in life?’ and while it’s pointless to have regrets given that we can’t change the past, I do occasionally look back and wonder how different my life might have been if I’d known at eighteen what I know now. How different all our lives would be with the benefit of hindsight, of course.

I wish I’d known that it doesn’t matter if you make mistakes. I was brought up by parents who were very ambitious, perhaps over-ambitious, particularly when it came to me. They wanted to realise all of their dreams through their daughter. I became a perfectionist, always striving to be the best in the class. 99 percent was just not good enough. I suppressed my rebellious streak and became their dutiful daughter. My grades were good enough to get me into a top university and I passed all of my exams with flying colours. When I look back I realise I didn’t even think to question what it was that I wanted to do.

I wish I’d known that it’s the journey that matters, not the final destination. My life was mapped out for me: university, career, marriage, children, security and retirement and the inevitable ‘if only’. I started out as planned with no surprises: a secure job with good pay and prospects. All of my friends were on the same path but deep down I knew that there was something missing. Was this all there was? I’ve always loved travelling and started to live for those precious weeks of holiday. I’d pore over brochures and travel guides and search out the most obscure untouched places. Increasingly I felt more and more alive whenever I was away from my normal everyday environment.

Some of us have the freedom to make choices and in my case, I finally chose to go. After a particularly stressful week at work, I decided to quit and that was quite simply the best thing I’ve ever done. I can honestly say that from that moment on, my life turned into an adventure.

I wish I’d known that everything happens for a reason. The reason might not initially be obvious but when we look back we can understand why something did take place. I’ve learned not to question but to accept whatever comes my way and that is one of the most valuable lessons that life has taught me.

Follow your dream and the rest will fall into place

How often do you meet people who are passionate about what they do? I would imagine that your answer will be ‘very rarely’. And yet, considering we spend the major part of our waking existence at work, it’s surprising how unhappy so many people are.

When we’re children, we all have dreams and dreams by their very nature seem unreal and unattainable but they give us hope and goals. Adults around us may tell us not to be silly, how could we possibly think we were good or clever enough to make those dreams come true. So, after a while, we might put those dreams to one side because we believe that adults must know better, but of course the reality is that they too are the victims of their own crushed dreams. Real life kicks in and we get caught up in all the day-to-day stuff of being a grown-up.

However, for those of you who still have dreams, here’s a true story. Some time ago a random sample of 1,500 graduating college students was surveyed to find out what they would base their career choice on. The vast majority said that making money was the first thing and following their dream was secondary. Only a very small percentage said that following their dream would come first, with financial gain second. In a follow-up study on actual net worth some twenty years later, the results made for fascinating reading: 101 of the 1,500 had become millionaires but only one of those millionaires had come from the group that had put money first. The other hundred came from the group that had followed their dreams.

Of course, this study doesn't prove anything scientifically speaking but it does show that passion and heart are incredibly powerful energies. People who do great things have, above everything else, a purpose that stirs their soul. They have an enthusiasm and exuberance that will ensure they achieve what they set out to do despite all the odds. So, if you have a dream, make sure you harness that energy and follow wherever it takes you.